I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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