walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize