I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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