when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
