Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
