Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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