Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
