It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Randomize
