that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Randomize