He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
...so i touched it.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
