A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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