the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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