I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
