your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
