i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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