Fine. I'll sleep in my office
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
The police scanner is talking about you again....
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize