you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
