look no pants
I feel like abortions should bother me more
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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