You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize