i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Randomize
