Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize