I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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