have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Randomize
