Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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