I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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