I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
