David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
