dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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