I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I think a kid would responsible me up
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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