So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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