the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Randomize
