____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
