dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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