I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize