So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
