I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
