M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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