Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
