so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He? As in you personified your dick?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
