Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Randomize