If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
where are you?
Hypothermia
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
