He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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