Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
