Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
