Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
