what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
