Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
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