Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
do herpes really smell.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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