He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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