do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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