My first STD was from a foam party
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
