oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
