is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
