Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
