All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
im holly from the hills drunk
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He shit in the fireplace
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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