What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
