I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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