That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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