i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize