I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
