Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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