It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
