By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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