So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
