dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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