How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
