Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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