Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
