Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
