we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
