Non-Jews are for practice
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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