I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
