we're blogging at a bar
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
