My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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