so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
