wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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