i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
