I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize
