that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
