he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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