you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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