He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
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