I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
